So most locals regard tourism as benign and are correspondingly benevolent towards visitors

So most locals regard tourism as benign, and are correspondingly benevolent towards visitors. If there is a rogue taxi driver or a grumpy waitress, then neither I nor anyone I talked to had encountered them.As the clouds begin to clear, the spectacular truth about Tenerife becomes apparent. The island has a third dimension, a volcanic peak piercing two miles into the sky. The 12,000ft summit of Pico del Teide is Spain’s highest point. The mountain is only 20 miles north of Playa de las Americas, but the tortuous road journey takes a couple of hours. Their faces, crumpled by sun and breeze (and probably the odd sandstorm), dance animatedly as they chew, and indicate a life spent in a different world to the beach resorts.The few tourists who make it as far as Santa Cruz identify themselves by noisily slurping Fanta, and carrying the air of having stumbled upon the Real Spain.

Whispers of gossip and wisps of smoke curl out from the huddles of workers drinking rough red wine and biting into harsh chorizo and piquant cheeses. I like the resort’s raucous honesty; some might accuse it of wreaking cultural GBH on the island’s soul, but no sensible Spanish person would be here at all were it not for the tourists. And anyway, normal life is just a bus ride away.Infused with humanity and humour, decorated with panache, draped with drama; this description would not apply to Las Americas, but it fits the capital, Santa Cruz, perfectly. The city market is named Our Lady of Africa, and feels commensurately Moorish. The Dutch sip Heineken, Germans swig Holsten, Brits swill Guinness and watch Fawlty Towers videos.The Sahara has not been sufficiently generous with its overnight sprinkling to disguise the fact that the beach is unappealing grey, because the sand is volcanic The warm Atlantic, though, compensates. So the half-hearted and half-finished apartment blocks blend in well with the environment.Yard upon scruffy yard of the seafront is crammed with bars which themselves are packed with drinkers, rigidly differentiated by nationality and beer. The beach resort that straggles clumsily along the south coast has a strangely symbiotic relationship with the landscape Volcanic rock looks remarkably similar to builders’ rubble.

If a sandy slab of volcanic rock measuring 30 by 50 miles does not sound desperately promising as a holiday destination, you should know that one in 10 of us who take a package holiday every year choose Tenerife. Leaving aside the odd bout of sandblasting, the weather is reliably warm and sunny, and the tax-free status of the Canaries makes Tenerife even better value than mainland Spain.
Which helps to explain why Las Americas has sprung up. If the wind is in the right (or wrong) direction, everything gets doused in a fine layer of sand. Don’t go to the Sahara Just visit Tenerife and wait for the desert to come to you.

The largest of the Canary Islands is the pork chop-shaped isle of Tenerife, and its nearest mainland neighbour is the Western Sahara. Southern Ferries in Piccadilly, London (0171 491 4968) can make ferry reservations but it’s cheaper to buy tickets locally.. The dark evenings brought more stars than my children had ever seen.Local shops provided everything we needed except veggieburgers and books in English. I found no trace of Anna or Maria but there are still numerous small bars and restaurants catering for all tastes and wallets – and the sea food is marvellous.As I handed back the keys to our rented house the owner gave me a slip of paper: “This is our phone number, tell your friends about us.”Transmediterranea and Ferry Gomera both have offices on the dock at Los Cristianos in Tenerife. Sitting on the balcony of our house, glass of wine in hand, I watched the rocky valley sides pass through a sequence of colours as the sun went down.

As for all the people – well, now that I thought about it, I had sometimes been a little lonely with a whole beach to myself – and the valley was far from crowded.Within a few days I had no regrets about returning. Fantastic shapes created by molten lava make the perfect habitat for a rich variety of sealife: giant sea-slugs which squirt out purple ink when disturbed, spiky sea-urchins and the beautiful shells they leave behind, octopuses, starfish, sea anemones and shy crabs.A second look at the apartment blocks revealed them to be low level and tastefully sited, hidden from from the beach and most of the valley. And Valle Gran Rey’s beaches are separated by stretches of rock pools guaranteed to keep any child happy for hours. Floating around with a snorkel and mask, surrounded by brilliantly coloured fish, was a real delight. The Playo de Ingles, a small beach where I had often spent days without seeing another soul, was littered with naked Germans. A whole new village had sprung up at one end of the beach.But the valley soon worked its magic on me.