For those whose assets exceed pounds 16000 the authority has no obligation to pay anything

For those whose assets exceed pounds 16,000, the authority has no obligation to pay anything. And for most, the funding will be expected to come out of their own resources rather than from the taxpayer, although the state will continue to provide a safety net for the very poor.
At present, local authorities only have to pay care fees in full where the individual’s assets, including the family home, are less than pounds 10,000. Yet with more than half of those over 65 suffering from a disabling condition and one in four confined to their homes, the possibility of needing long-term care, either at home or in a nursing home, cannot be ignored. For many, the issue of who covers the cost of any future care is a low priority behind more immediate concerns such as mortgages, pensions and the general cost of living.

This is a reality that affects nearly 40,000 people each year. Then illness strikes and in the space of a few years, your savings are depleted and your most prized asset, the home, has to be sold to pay for long-term care. Picture this scenario: you spend 40 years in work, pay off the mortgage and sit back to enjoy a long and contented retirement on a comfortable pension. For the second time this week, something has been lost in translation.Etcetera Theatre London NW1 (0171-482 4857) to 6 April; Finborough Theatre London SW10 (0171-373 3842) to 29 March; ICA, London SW1 (0171-930 3647) to 29 March.

In the bits between the songs, Natsuki makes patterns with a pile of sand or hurls aluminium poles across the stage, gestures so inward-turned as to be meaningless. I liked her hammy Dietrichesque singing – each line gains an extra syllable or three- and the band play with such Muppet- like ferocity you could imagine them becoming a cult act on their own But, as a theatrical experience, it is impenetrable. Now to that list I have to add renaissance woman Mari Natsuki: million-selling pop star, queen of Tokyo musicals, admired by Steven Berkoff and possessed of a legion of fans known as Natsukisuto.The Impressionist (ICA), a series of songs by Steve Reich, Kurt Weill and Michael Nyman, is as bemusing as Natsuki’s stage persona itself: part forces’ sweetheart, part vamp, part little girl who’s been playing with her mother’s make-up. I don’t get the allure of karaoke bars, or million-selling bands made up of teenage girls Mishima and Sakamoto leave me cold I don’t even like sushi. And, during the election campaign, you can guarantee you won’t see anything like it on TV.I have to admit, I don’t understand Japan. Acts of sin and sanctity litter the action and, in case we find Watt’s character too ambiguous, a scene in which he betrays a lover damns him to hell.But, though the structure disappoints, the play boasts some enjoyably pointed one-liners (“What is it about this country and lifeboats?”) and accomplished acting from the Steam Industry.

It’s ironic that a play which is so sceptical about the emotional manipulation involved in fundraising should use similarly crude tactics to get its point across. Watt has a similar psychotic charm to Nigel Havers, a dash of Gordon Brittas in the voice, and frown lines that descend from the side of his eyes and make him look like he’s wearing a rubber mask which, at any moment, he’ll rip off to reveal the demon beneath.The Fundraisers is very rough around the edges. Tom Watt (best remembered as lovable dimwit Lofty in EastEnders) gives a tart central performance as the suit hired to raise pounds 300,000 to get rid of a hospital’s waiting list. Written to coincide with the General Election campaign, Tony Marchant’s play is a satire about the NHS’s increasing reliance on charity. But then, one suspects, it was never meant to have a long shelf-life. On this evidence, however, Lickers and Kickers comes across as a mouldy period piece, as dead as Lenin in his tomb but not so well-embalmed.In five years’ time, The Fundraisers (The Finborough) will probably look past its sell-by date, too.